Echoes of the Heart and Soul
by danceofthecherryblossoms
Summary: "I never realize how much I truly loved living until I was dying. I think I regret that the most. I regret that I didn't value my life enough to truly live it. This is how I die, drowning in both my own blood and regrets." SI/OC as Ichigo's twin.
1. death and rebirth

This is reposting of the first chapter of this story. The rest will be completely different from how it was posted last time. This is also apart of my SI/OC Twin series. There is one more story i will be posting that's apart of this.

No onto the good part, the story!

* * *

ONE

death and rebirth

* * *

"Tonight do homework 4.5, tomorrow in class we'll start 4.6." My math professor says as the class starts packing up their belongings.

I curse lowly when my calculator slips out of my hand and falls to the ground. Irritated, I push my chair back so I can pick it up. I stuff it into the front pocket of my backpack as I stand up. I swing my backpack over my shoulder at the same time I push my chair back under the desk. I start walking out of the classroom, slipping my arm under the other strap of my backpack as I reach the door. Only a foot or so behind my tablemate. I stop walking to slip my headphones out of my jacket pocket and into my ears. I plug them into my phone and start walking, unlocking the phone as I walk. I open my music app, find the playlist I frequently listen to and push play on the first song on the list. Looking up briefly to make sure I don't bump into anyone or anything as I make my way to the stairs to the main floor of the building my math class is in. I send a quick group text to my family, my two older siblings and my parents, telling them I love them. Then I slip my phone into my back pocket and make my way out of the building. I still have one class today, in about an hour so I pause once I get to an intersection of walkways and contemplate whether to go to the student center for lunch or head towards the Science and Tech building to do my homework while I wait for my last class of the day. Deciding to eat when I get home, knowing my mom had planned to make a roast dinner I head towards the Science building.

The hour before my next class passes quickly. As does my class, it's an introductory programming class and the project we are working on is quite fun. After class, I take a detour to the quick stop shop in the student center to buy a snack and a drink before walking to the bus stop. I stop for a second to open the candy bar before I step into the crosswalk that separates the community college campus from the bus stop at the corner. I take a bite of the dark chocolate covered candy bar and sigh in contentment. I'm only a few steps from the sidewalk when it happens. There is a long honk, the sunlight reflects off the metal Nissan symbol on the front of the car and then there is a sharp pain at my side. The screech of metal meeting metal and a sickening crunch. My body flies like a ragdoll as I get pulled along by my backpack. I land a few feet away from the two crashed vehicles, barely aware of anything but the pain. Distantly I am aware that I am dying. I can feel the blood and there is something metal in me, but I can't really focus on that, I don't want to focus on that.

I don't want to die. I am only twenty-years-old I have so much more I want to do. I haven't even finished my second semester of college. I regret taking that gap year, I could be farther along with my degree if I hadn't taken that year off. It's almost funny, that now that I'm dying I realize just how much I regret. So much I wish I said or did, so much what could have been if I had just had the courage. I guess it's true you never realize what you could have had until it's too late. It feels like I'm drowning in all these regrets, from little things like never entering that short story contest in high school to the big things like wishing I would have hugged my dad goodbye this morning. It hurts. I know I'll never have the chance to do that again. I'll never be able to kiss my mother again. I'll never be able to cuddle with my sister and watch a movie again. I'll never be able to sit and do a puzzle with my brother again. I'll never be able to play with my nephew again. I won't be able to live again. I never realize how much I truly loved living until I was dying. I think I regret that the most. I regret that I didn't value my life enough to truly live it.

This is how I die, drowning in both my own blood and regrets.

* * *

Kurosaki Haruka is born three minutes and twenty-seven seconds after her brother on July fifteenth. She is a surprise as there was no indication they were having twins. Her mother only had the bare minimum of ultrasounds because she was mildly allergic to the gel used. In each of the ultrasounds that were taken, she was hidden by her brother or just mistaken as something else. Her heartbeat, the only other way she could have been noticed, was mistaken as an echo of her mothers because it was so faint. So truly, she was a surprise to her parents. A happy surprise, for the young couple wanting a big family.

Unknown to both her parents and even herself, her soul remembers the life it had before. Old souls are not uncommon, but those that leave echoes are. These echoes come in dreams, in small bits of memory that mix with the present and understanding of things learned before. Echoes bleed into the new life of the soul and manifest themselves in small things, like a dislike of a food never tasted or an unusual flare for learning a new language. For Kurosaki Haruka, these echoes will shape her more than she will ever know.

(It's not a bad thing, for there is much you can learn from the past, even if it's only through its echoes).


	2. family is everything

Enjoy the story!

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TWO

family is everything

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(She dreams of a life that was once hers).

* * *

I am at a crossroads. I need to make a choice. I have to pick a side, here and now, then and there, of a life that was once mine and a life that is mine. How can I choose just one? I was so I am and I am so I can't go back. What do I do? Where do I go? I already chose, why am I here? I'm drowning, drowning on land, I feel empty and too full, and why, why, why didn't I just choose when I had the time. Why did I choose this side? _Why, why, whywhywhy…_

I wake suddenly, my breath caught in my chest and I need to do something but I forget what. I forgot everything of the dream, all but a lingering feeling of regret. I feel it all the way down to my bones. I always have felt it. Sometimes the feeling is fleeting only lingering long enough that I remember it is here. Other times it settles itself somewhere deep inside and makes it impossible to ignore. Regret, even if it isn't truly mine is a constant thing hanging over me. It's shaped me for better or worse, I can't change that. So I choose to live without regrets, because I know, intimately, what it feels when you live a life of regrets.

I hate it more than anything. Regrets are like chains, each one tying you down until you've forgotten what freedom is. I won't, can't, let that happen to me because at the core of who I am, is a free spirit. I need freedom like I need air.

* * *

(Maybe this is because of her soul, it knows what it's like to be chained down with regrets and what could have been and refuses to have it happen again).

* * *

There are only two things I need in my life to survive. My freedom and my family. You should pity any who threaten either, for they'd face me at my worst. Or my best it's all a matter of perspective. For there is nothing I would not do for either. They are my anchor, I become the best person I can be when I have both. Without either I would go adrift and parts of me, those parts that hide and thrive in the dark linger under the surface would rise up. Without them, I have the potential to become a true monster.

* * *

(For there would be nothing to stop her, to anchor her).

* * *

They call me weird, strange, a freak. The other kids I mean. The adults too. Some say, "She's an old soul" though most just say something along the lines of "There is something off about her, I can't stand to look at her sometimes". Usually I can deal with it. Ignore it. Yet for some reason it hurts more now than when I first overheard someone say things like that. It hurts deeply, and I don't understand why. I don't understand what's wrong with me.

"Haru!" My brother calls to me from the doorway where he and mom are standing waiting for me. I gather the few things I take with me to school as a kindergarten student and try to ignore the group snickering as they watch me. It makes me feel self conscious. It makes me want to hurt them like they hurt me.

"Geez you're so slow." Ichigo whines, drawing out the o in slow as he tugs our mother towards me.

It seems I was taking too long. I hadn't realized I stopped what I was doing. I hadn't realize I was blinking away tears. I tend to have tunnel vision when I get upset.

"Come on sweetheart." Mom said softly, and grabbed my hand to pull me closer to her side. "You can tell us what eating you once we get home."

I nod, despite not really getting why I am upset. Despite not understanding what is wrong with me.

I listlessly trail behind my brother who grabbed my other hand and started leading us through the short walk home. Mom only had to tell him to slow down twice. We entered our home through the front clinic since it was guaranteed papa would be in office or treating a patient at this time.

Or talking to the receptionist like he is now.

"Papa!" I cried and ran towards him.

Papa caught me and settled me in his arms, I was in tears so he asked, "What's wrong, my little flower?"

"No one likes me. They say I'm weird. That there's something wrong with me!" I babble. "I dont know why?"

I miss the look my father shared with my mother over my head.

"Oh, daughter-mine there is nothing wrong with you." Papa starts, gently tapping my chin he continues. "Look st me. I promise you'll make friends one day, but until then you have your family. You have us."

"Family is everything." Her mother adds, the words seem to fill the space despite the fact they were said quietly.

It resonates with something inside me and all the sudden I feel lighter.

I mouth the words, 'family is everything' to myself until I've cried myself out. I am still in my father's arms when I make the vow. I look at my brother, my soft but fierce brother, my loving and soulful mother and my loud and kind father, and I vow. I vow that I will watch over them, and always be there to remind them that no matter what we will always have each other.

* * *

(Some beliefs are soul deep and stay so deeply entwined that they linger even when the soul is reborn).


End file.
